resolute about blogging

I have 128 followers on the list now.  I figure this means around 100 because of dropouts.  I have found that many of the folks that follow my blog are only clicking follow so that I will visit their page and maybe follow.  Those guys are only interested in numbers and what I might do for them.  I particularly dislike the ones that are advertising a product, service, or how I can make millions with my blog.  I never follow them back.  Really, only about 10 of you actually read, visit, and comment.  And I kinda like it that way.  I even miss you when you take a hiatus!

I had lots of questions after posting thoughts for a little over a year and trying to find out how the blogosphere kinda works until I discovered the Reader.  The day to day part of keeping up has totally been simplified with the WordPress Reader on my iPad.  Since I started using it last spring, they have really streamlined the program.  The inbox of my email account no longer fills up with reports that you guys have written something, or that you have commented on my comment, or that others have commented on what you wrote, or others have commented on my comment…you know?  Now, all of that–which I love, by the way–sits in that one place waiting on me to visit and see what’s going on with everyone.

But, here’s the problem–that Reader page distracts me with everything you guys have written and comments I write to you.  Then, there are your comments to my comments, and…then, no time left to write my post.  Love the blog-friends I have met.  Keep writing!!

 

 

requote 8

Unless the cause of peace based on law gathers behind it the force and zeal of a religion, it hardly can hope to succeed.
—Albert Einstein

remark

“I am going to pay you at least a dollar for the sheep!” was my answer to my artist friend saying there’s no charge for her work in clay.  I’m paying her something because I want to be able to say that I commissioned an artist to make several more figures for the nativity.

I let a friend of mine give me a dollar for one of my first watercolor paintings so that I could say I have sold some of my work.

Also, I left a very small, very badly thrown pot under the shelves in the potter’s studio (back room of a gallery) where I took five thrown pot lessons.  I left it there so that I could say that some of my thrown pottery work is in an art gallery in Augusta.

It’s all about how you phrase the remark, isn’t it?  Funny, though, I haven’t been able to use the lines–no one has ever asked.

rewrite (or write) the ending

The beginning of the school year with all the Back to School promotions reminds me that the children’s book I’ve been writing still begs for an ending.  My goal of self-publishing this fall looks more and more like a far away dream.  Maybe your comments will get me going again.  Here’s the first chapter.

One More Chance
Chapter 1
I hate the first day of school.  I get this squashy feeling in my stomach.  I thought sure by fifth grade the squashy feeling would go away.  Today loud sounds came from the squashy feeling.  My stomach is whirling.
Summer vacation is definitely over.  The walk to school feels like a hundred miles.  My feet don’t want to make the next step.  There’s too much to think about.  The right teacher.  The wrong guys in your class.  The right guys in your class.  The wrong girls in your class.  Ughhh…
The first day of fifth grade…  As I pull on the handle of the heavy wood door of my school I wonder how I can make fifth grade better than last year.  Fourth grade was one very, very bad year.  My grades went way down, but worst of all, I was sent to the principal’s office so many times that I was almost sent home for the rest of the year.  I’m not sure how to make this school year better.  But, I made a promise to my Grandpa that I would do my best.
Bunches of kids came early to school on the first day.  Just like me, they could hardly wait to find out who their teacher would be.  Loud talking, jumping for joy, groans of “not that teacher” filled the halls as students and parents checked the class lists outside each teacher’s door.  Getting a nice teacher was like winning the lottery.  Getting the wrong teacher could ruin your life for the whole school year.
I decided to check Miss Angelina’s roll first.  Everyone said she was the nicest fifth grade teacher and boy, did I need nice.  I held my breath as I looked over her list, one time, two times, wishing my name would magically appear.  It didn’t.  My name  wasn’t there.  Just my luck.  Oh, I know where I’ll find my name.  My name will be on Mrs. Rodenberry’s list.  That’s the luck I have, the bad kind.  Last year’s fifth graders had spread the word.  Mrs. Rodenberry was possibly the meanest, hardest, fifth grade teacher in the whole world.  My stomach went from squashy to just plain sick as I tried to decide if I wanted to look at her list.
A group was gathering in the hall in front of Mrs. Rodenberry’s classroom.  Several kids from my class last year were calling my name.
“Hey, Wesley, your name is on this list.”  And the group doubled over in laughter.
“You’re history, man!”
“Mrs. Rodenberry is going to love your act.”
“Got any plans to entertain us this year?”
I was a clown last year and I got in big trouble every time.  I liked the attention I got from Ajax and the other boys when I acted up in class.  Those were the times I felt like one of the guys.  Being the new kid last year was hard.  My new try-to-change part of me was remembering all the long talks this summer with Grandpa Howard.  But, the boys were waiting for me to do something, to say something funny.  I took a deep sweeping bow like the ringleader at the circus.  Then, I felt my face turn red while the guys slapped me on the back and all laughed loudly.  I heard Ajax do his low, loud whistle of approval.  But, as I walked into the classroom, I wished I had skipped the bow–already off to a bad start.  How was I going to change?  I wanted to please Grandpa.  I really did.  I wanted one more chance.

I started writing this story a couple of decades ago.  Every now and then, I write a few chapters, I run parts of it by writing groups I’ve been in, a couple of published children’s authors have critiqued parts, I’ve had several children read it to see their reaction.  However, it never seems to get finished.  But actually, that is the good news!! Right now lots of self-publishing options exist.  If I’d sent it off to publishers long ago, it would be in my bottom drawer along with all the rejection letters.  Because I didn’t finish it until now (or soon), I can publish it myself and actually hold a copy of it in my hands.  Can not wait!!!

p.s.  Any ideas for self-publishing are welcome.  I know nothing!

realize limits

Lately when topics come up in conversation or something catches my eye on TV, I think–what do I really, actually, positively know about that subject???  In education various forms of questions show the depth of understanding a student has on a topic–the easiest being multiple choice.  Think back to those multiple choice tests in school.  You can rule out a couple of answers and end up making  a good guess.  The fill-in-the-blank question takes more knowledge, and the dreaded essay question shows what you really know.

So I ask myself–what depth of understanding do I really have on these things that come up?   Could I just do true-false or multiple choice or could I write an essay answer?  Turns out I have a multiple-choice kind of understanding on most topics–a lot less than I would have thought.  I bring this up because sooooo many people act like they are essay on everything, when they are only multiple choice.   The problem isn’t that they don’t know, the problem is that they don’t know that they don’t know, instead of understanding that the more you know, the more you know you don’t know, you know?

respond positively part 3

…continued from–respond positively part 1 and part 2

At a family gathering a 12 year old boy joined in a discussion about visiting the zoo and aquarium in the city by saying he wanted to be a marine biologist when he grew up.  “Better think about that one,” his father said.  “That probably requires a lot of years of schooling, probably have to get a doctorate.”  His face fell–that comment from his father made it seem like being a marine biologist would be something he couldn’t do, couldn’t reach that level for some reason.  Until he thought for a minute, “My aunt has her doctorate!” he proclaimed, smiling.  Now he was thinking, if she can do it, so can I.

What if there had been no aunt with a doctorate for a role model?  His father’s comment would have loomed large over his decisions about his life’s choices.

Respond positively to young people about their interests and life choices; show them role models.

respond positively part 2

…continued from–respond positively part 1.

Last fall in my favorite little get-away town on the Gulf coast, in my favorite bookstore there ( fabulous yarn in the back!!), I discovered a book that brought to mind what I started explaining in part 1 and what I’d like to go on with here.  The book, Opening Skinner’s Box:  Great Psychological Experiments of the Twentieth Century, is anything but as dry as it sounds.  It caught me eye because ever since that Sunday afternoon in 1967, I have read, studied, been fascinated with, all things dealing with human behavior.  I even watch Survivor with an eye toward the psychological effects of that game on those who play it.

This book details in an”‘outsider” way the most interesting experiments that explain why we are who we are, why we do what we do, how we are programmed for so many things–fascinating!!  While I was sitting on the screen porch listening to the surf and the breeze in the palm fronds and more than enjoying this book–heck, savoring it, rereading passages, etc.,  that Sunday afternoon flashed in my mind’s eye.  I cried for all that I had missed.

I’m not saying that I have had it bad.  My students invited me to their honors night when they were in high school–meaning they remembered me that long and when given the chance to invite one teacher, they choose me.  You can’t get much better than that.  Several college students nominated me for Who’s Who Among American Teachers.  I was voted teacher of the year by my peers.  (I can have teacher’s pets now, and I do.  One left a comment on part 1.  Read her blog–you’ll love it.)  I did the best I could do, but I longed for something, too.

When defending my doctoral dissertation, titled Sex Role Stereotypes:  The Effect on The Careers of Gifted Females, one of the profs on my committee commented that at times my writings seemed to sound personal.  Hmmm, how perceptive of him.

Respond positively when young people tell you what they want to be when they grow up; tell them they can do anything.

respond positively part 1

Dr. Joyce Brothers died this week. I remember seeing her on TV for years dishing out psychological help in a time before everyone had their own therapist.  Heard today that she won the $64,000 Question game show (if you remember this show, you’re getting old like me) and becoming a celebrity on that show went on to a career providing psychological advice in newspaper columns and TV shows for the next four decades. This reference to psychology jogged my memory–I had wanted to write this blog post a while ago.

I graduated from college in 1971 with a degree in education that I neither wanted nor thought I would ever need. All I wanted to be was a wife and a mother, was dating my high school sweetheart, and not planning on having a career outside the home–that never entered my mind. In my small town, women, by-and-large, did not work. But, I digress.

Dad said I would be going to college. When the college catalog came in the mail in 1967, I read it cover to cover–small school–and I found a word I had never seen before–psychology. I read through all the course descriptions and was fascinated with the ideas there. I remember running into the living room that Sunday afternoon, probably interrupting a football game on TV, and announcing, “I know what I’m going to study in college, psychology!” To which my father replied, “And what the hell kind of job do you think you’re going to get with a degree in that?”

Well, I had no answer and you did not have discussions with my father. That was the end of that.  In 1967 the career choices for women were few, mainly, nursing, teaching, or secretarial work. (Young women today need to be aware that those career restrictions changed not so long ago–forty+ years ago wasn’t all that distant.)

Jump ahead a few years.  The wife and mother part never happened.  And, because I had had a late time card one quarter and the only available course was Education 101, my future had been decided.

I’m thinking this morning that the timing would have been just right  for me to have graduated with a degree in psychology.  I would have started on a career in psychology right when that branch of science was beginning to boom.     …to be continued

Respond positively to your children when they come to you about their interests.

recycle, please

One of my medicines (magic elixir for my RA–but that’s a story for another day) is now delivered overnight express each month–do not ask me why this method saves the insurance company money when for years I just drove to the neighborhood pharmacy.  “Are you complaining?” you might ask. “After all, it is delivered to your door.”  Yeah, well, sort of, yes, I am.  My problem with this arrangement has to do with the packaging component.

Every month a medium size cardboard box with, 20 sheets of paper (with the same info each month), a Styrofoam container with 3 inch thick walls, and two gel ice packs arrive with my four little syringes that must be kept cold.  That, my friends, is a lot of trash.   And that foam container will be here forevermore.  Going to the pharmacy took less than a half gallon of gas and I grocery shopped along the way.

On a Dart brand foam cup I found the following :  “an average weight paper hot cup with a cardboard sleeve generates 379% more solid waste by weight than a comparable foam cup.”  Isn’t the difference not the weight but how long it will last on this planet?  To be sorta fair, Dart does have foam recycling bins.  Wonder how that is done and how much chemical waste that makes?

Is there an answer?  I sure hope so.  Happy Earth Day.

redefine realism

Today is the 1st anniversary of my blog and while thinking about how to commemorate the occasion, it occurred to me that I had gotten so caught up in reading, writing, meeting new friends, etc. that I failed to ever write down why my blog is named realism redefined. Since my accumulated stats are nothing to brag about (I have quality, not quantity), I will concentrate on the why of the name of my one year old blog and add a new page, too.

Back in the 90’s I was working on my doctorate in education, I was in the last decade of my teaching career, and I was approaching that magic age of 50 when everything in life just becomes a little clearer. The intersection of these three events lent a perspective to everything, even the smallest thing.  A perspective that I’d not had.  Pessimistic, there’s a word that I would have listed in my personality profile until this particular time in my life when I realized that what I saw in situations was what was real, not what was wrong. What is real, what could actually be, sounds rather like pessimism, unfortunately.  Others mostly thought that my new perspective was me becoming the old-maid schoolteacher personified who was pessimistic about life in general.  (Eventually, they came around and even asked me to apply my new perspective to ideas on education.)

About this time the psychology of happiness and the study of positive psychology exploded in universities and on book store shelves making my thinking seem even more negative next to that backdrop. Having always wished I had gone into psychology and thinking I might need a brighter outlook, I read some of these and came to this conclusion. I am not a negative thinker; I am a logical thinker–one who sees both sides of a situation–a realist.

The redefining comes when you look at all of the possibilities in a situation.  When you do this you find the problems that could occur as well as the silver linings.
The glass is not half full or half empty; the glass is both, each side with positive and negative. Reality looks like that, doesn’t it?